Hello, I’m Said (like sci-eed).
Since 2020, this blog has been narrowly focused on something I’m super passionate about, that doesn’t pay bills…
I’ve spent countless hours pouring my blood and guts out on the internet, writing hundreds of thousands of words focused mostly on suicide prevention.
Writing that came from deep within, from years on the frontline and training others, hundreds of hours of reflection, and of course the personal experiences that led me to this work, some of which I’ve shared about.
Writing gave me the confidence to break barriers I didn’t know I had.
I learned what I’m capable of.
But this came at a cost.
It cost my health and on more than one occasion almost cost my relationship. It cost me multiple business ventures as I just couldn’t seem to focus.
Not to mention the thousands I’ve spent on this website, software etc.
Why?
That’s a story for another time…
However, after years spent answering that question, peeling back the layers and going deep into my motivation and consciousness, I can finally say I am ready to evolve.
I’d like to invite you to come with.
Before I get to that, I’ve had a lot of support.
Guides, and gardeners…
I’ve hired coaches, paid for online containers and been lucky to have incredible people willing to offer perspective and heart.
I’ve been very blessed, especially by the support of my mentors Mitch and AJ.
If it weren’t for this couple who’ve tended to the soil of my heart, my relationship with Marissa would never have survived the intense challenges of the last few years. Challenges which were in the end strong enough to do what nothing else could – and cause me to pause my compulsive writing for long enough to look within.
With their help, I overcame countless limiting beliefs.
Their coaching in business has set us up financially, but more importantly their guidance and example in life is what stirred our hearts.
They’ve been there with us through near breakups, relapse and even arrest.
They challenged me, showing I could step up as a provider and support Marissa financially, against my deeply ingrained – even dogmatic – beliefs. They helped me live through the values I actually hold in my heart, rather than the ones I inhereted without question.
As a result, Marissa’s been able to devote herself totally to healing.
She’s confronted aspects of her psyche, nervous system and physical health with such intensity that any courage I lay claim to absolutely pales by comparison.
Her recovery has been no less than miraculous, another story for another time…
So with a long enough period of stillness, where we’ve had the room to breathe deep and chart a new course, I’m ready to share.
I’m pivoting the writing of Said With Courage.
From now on I’ll write less about suicide prevention and more about growth.
Sometimes big, mostly small.
I’ll share the growth that happens beneath the surface, like a tiny root spreading down beneath a seed where it can’t be seen in the soil.
I love this metaphor because it fits perfectly the personal growth journey, and also because this is exactly how ideas work.
A tiny little concept can make its way deep into the soil of someone’s heart and thereby take root… leading to futures of forests.
I’ll write about what’s helped not just as a mental health trainer but as a lover, friend, mentor and especially as someone (still) learning to receive support.
From that perspective I’ll share about mentorship and leadership, in business and in life.
I’m a huge believer in the power of personal relationships, because I’ve been touched by that power countless times.
By people who were both generous and also skilled. Generous with their time and hearts, but skilled too in that they have backbone and aren’t afraid to challenge me to live a bigger life.
People who don’t want me to shrink my dreams to fit the limits of reality, but rather help me grow expand my reality to fit the size of my dreams.
People who ask me directly; is that really all you’ve got?
Do you really believe the limits you impose on who you are and what you’re capable of?
‘You think that’s air, you’re breathing?‘
It’s been a humbling journey.
And if you’re anything like me (proud to the point of arrogant) humility actually feels like humiliation.
It feels like a gong smashing in my chest.
One that has reverberated multiple times while making change in the world, and learning in order to do that I first have to make change in me.
It’s taken deep soul searching to look within and ask genuinely what holds me back from the life I dream of…
A life where I can sow into people, design and nurture communities, build sustainable systems of education and produce.
It used to be that I wanted to help 1,000,000 people learn suicide prevention skills.
This drove me.
After years of pushing and striving I’m now focused on something more calm: being where my feet are.
Today I’m planting a single seed and tending to it with love.
The same way that has been done for me.
Often and yet gently.
One by one, one on one.
If my journey resonates with you, I’m writing a Manifesto. Something for people like us who want to make change in the world, but recognise it starts within. Find me on LinkedIn to stay up to date.