Although I’m not doomed to live out the same dynamics, I will…

Until I slow down for long enough to change.

People say the past repeats itself, but actually patterns repeat themselves.

The pattern is in the present. It imposes itself on how I look at the world, something familiar yet painful.

Uh oh, I’ve seen that look before, I know what (s)he’s thinking. I know what’s coming next.

I may talk like I’m seeing the past, or know the future, but the past is over, the future isn’t even real. It’s an idea.

I’m not seeing the past. I’m seeing the pattern.

The brain searches for threats, thought interprets sensation.

‘That discomfort means (s)he probably ____, this feeling means (s)he’s going to ____.’

The pattern encoded into my nervous system, the meaning I make, it only exists right now – in this very moment.

My body prepares for a fight.

The past might be gone, but the pattern remains.

What happens next? A story as old as time.