When I first started volunteering in suicide support I struggled to stop offering advice.

I’d get feedback from my coach regularly;

• We let them come to their own answers and solutions
• We’re not here to solve peoples problems
• In non-judgement, we hold space for people without expecting a ‘resolution’

My own expectations were constantly setting me up for failure.

My inner ‘care-giver’ interrupted my ability to really connect

One day I noticed my unrealistic expectations and finally something shifted.

I saw how I kept falling into advice traps because I couldn’t handle my own feelings of powerlessness. I expected myself to ‘help’ everyone.

Releasing my expectations to ‘help’ everyone meant I could better help people feel seen and heard, which is usually all we need.

Ironically, letting go of the desire to help has made me a much better helper

If you struggle to fit in to the anonymous supporter role, please let me help.

I’m putting myself out there with this content because I want you to know it’s ok to struggle. It’s ok, you’ve got support as soon as you’re ready to reach out for it. Within your organisation, in professional mental health networks and elsewhere, there’s plenty of us who feel the pain of wanting to do better.

If that’s a message you vibe with, share with your network! 💝