In 30 days of writing I’ve published around 9,000 words… I should be proud, right?
It was grueling at times and a total breeze at others.
At one point I had ten (!) Atomic Essays scheduled and ready to fire. On other days I was scrambling around like a headless chook wondering whether I’d publish. I didn’t miss a day and for that, you might think I’m proud.
But I’m not.
I’ve got a demon named ‘Unrelenting Standards’.
I thought I’d slain it ages ago.
It turns accomplishments to ash as I touch them. I’ve known about it for a long time. I’ve read about it. Got therapy about it. I’ve tried befriending it, banishing it, destroying it, consuming it, transforming it, accepting it. I found mentors to help navigate it.
Every strategy and tactic I’ve been able to come up with, I’ve tried. After 30 days and 9,000 words I can say: I’m still trying.
If you can relate, this is for you.
It isn’t easy. Well done.
You are breaking the mold of your childhood. The narrative of not good enough. Lazy. Procrastinator. Avoidance. Distraction. You met incredible people and started beautiful friendships. You followed through on breaking limiting beliefs. Maybe you didn’t do it the way you wanted, maybe you didn’t 1,000X your followers or stick to the cadence you planned.
That’s alright.
You are worth more than you believe.