My language system has two engines, cognition and sensation.

If I’m using cognition, I get to observe and analyse.

If I’m using sensation, I get to integrate and transmute.

Most of us walk around completely oblivious to sensation.

There’s a difference between feelings and emotions, if you ask someone how they feel about something and they tell you an answer expressing judgement, they’re in cognition.

‘It just feels like she did it on purpose.’

‘Oh yeah, and what feeling is that?’

‘Well, I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Yet it seems to happen over and over. Is this just a (insert whatever demographic most scares me) thing?’

When our language system relies completely on cognition, it’s like asking the bearau of meteorology to report on how the coming storm will impact the economy.

Why the fuck are we asking them?

To genuinely process what they’re going through, someone’s emotions must be allowed to happen. Not rationalised away. Not suppressed or denied.

Caveat: there’s a difference between crying to release and crying to hold on.