Confession time, if you tell me your ex ‘is a crazy ____’, my first thought is ‘what did you not take responsibility for?’

It’s about to get real. Grab a helmet.

I had every justification to call my ex a crazy ____. By her choices, the drama, the tantrums, the fights, the accusations, the endless interrogations, missed calls etc.

We didn’t know how to navigate our trauma, hell I only learned what the word ‘trauma’ means 3 years after we broke up.

More words I needed; boundaries, enmeshment, projection, vegas nerve, non-violent communication, courage, responsibility, maturity.

We were doing our best with a lifetime of baggage.

And in the end, she acted crazy.

But you know why I never describe her as a crazy ___?

Because I deserved it.

Our relationship was built on a lie I told right at the start.

Something small and innocuous to me, but completely self centered and not at all with her best interests in my heart.

So… was it really that ‘she was crazy’, or was she trying to have a relationship with someone she felt she couldn’t trust?