I tend to see either problems or solutions.

But they’re both.

It’s not a dichotomy with distance between. It’s a timeline, with decisions between, because any problem is a solution in waiting.

The struggle for me is in recognising I have a problem in the first place.

Sometimes it feels good to just complain and whinge. I get to vent frustration, someone validates and listens to me. On the other side of it I like how I feel.

But if it ends there, that feeling is a lie.

It’s like someone who reads about exercise, but doesn’t exercise.

My mentor once said people who suffer my complaints are either; others who want to complain too or others who have no choice but to listen.

Rarely can either person help me move from problem to solution.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve gotten from years of mentorship is how the right person can validate my pain, normalise my struggle and yet help me do something about the situation causing it.

See, if I complain to the right person, they don’t shame me. They invite me back into the tribe, yet also help me brush myself off and get back at it.

I always wanted things to change, but never wanted to change… Until I learned the art of receiving support.