Last essay we defined toxic positivity. It’s an easy trap to fall into (this coming from a master of falling into traps 🤪), so be kind to yourself! Next up in building the reframe skillset…

Define what to let go of in suicide prevention.

It took me a year on the phones before I learned how to let go of my own personal agendas. Here’s two examples:

1 >> Save everyone. As you may imagine, a lot of people volunteer in crisis support with great intentions. That was me. But very quickly I got confronted by a harsh reality: I can’t be responsible for others. In other words, I control *only *****myself! On the plus side, my skill set is something I can influence.

2 >> Refer everyone. It might feel like everyone’s problems need to be solved. It did for me. I would answer the phone and I couldn’t wait for them to let me find other services and solutions! I learned the hard way this is not nearly as helpful as being present and listening deeply.

Personal agendas driven by emotional wounds interrupt listening.

When I found and let go of my personal agendas, I freed up space for authenticity.

My need to offer advice, to care for everyone, to provide solutions were all very common parts of a standard way of relating to others. But in suicide support, what we do is not normal. We lean in to the discomfort and become masters at splitting the noise (in our head) from the signal (what’s being said).

So what does all of this have to do with reframes?

Next essay we’ll see the way agendas change how we see and hear the world.

If this helped, please press buttons! 😁👇🏽💜👀🙏🏽