The biggest barrier to developing non-judgement is the burden of self awareness
Learning to hold non-judgemental space for people can be incredibly uncomfortable and confronting.
This discomfort begins with self discovery. Its clear we need to let go of our biases, judgements and even the roles we think we have to play (and therefore our attachments to those roles). This discomfort can lead to all kinds of struggle;
- Thoughts of doubt
- Pushing against the framework we’ve been taught
- Wanting to find another way around
Your ‘ability to respond’ is your responsibility to develop
The flip side of the burden of knowledge is your choice in applying it.
When we can take responsibility and lean in to our discomfort, we overcome the burden of those feelings. Lizard brain patterns have less control. The pollution of our internal ‘noise’ – thoughts, feelings and opinions – is diluted.
In other words, taking responsibility for your ‘noise’ makes it way easier to help people feel seen and heard.
What does increasing responsibility sound like?
Read these examples and try find the underlying formula;
- Even though my heart is racing, I can support this person.
- I recognise I’m scared and having doubts, but that wont stop me from paying attention to what I’m hearing.
- I can see how constantly reminding myself I’m afraid isn’t going to help, so I’ll remind myself I’m capable too.
- I am getting pulled out of alignment by my personal feelings, it’s ok to drift off course but now that I’m aware of it, I’ll focus on what they say and really listen to them.