Nobody starts out ‘good’ at crisis support.

At least, nobody in the hundreds I’ve mentored, trained or watched go through the journey.

When we’re early in – taking those first tentative steps – the expectations we place on ourselves can really hurt. When I first came through I found it incredibly disheartening if things didn’t go well. I blamed myself.

Expectation management is a huge part of preventing burn out.

It’s an unnatural skill, so don’t expect to be good at it just yet.

Non-judgement goes against all normal conversation.

Everyone from your uber driver to your dentist – nobody in your life uses non-judgement to a complete degree while talking with you, or you with them. Because it would be weird!

The journey became a lot easier for me once I really made sense of this and adjusted my expectations.

Moving forward means we first have to accept where we are now.

I had to really accept my own painful mistakes before I could truly knuckle down and improve.

This isn’t just about growing skills. It’s about becoming.

To grow into a skilled supporter in a healthy way, we have to develop the right beliefs. Beliefs that… what we do matters. That we deserve to receive support when we need it. That our efforts are good enough as they are, flaws and imperfections included.

When you can really accept and forgive yourself for your flaws, it’s so much easier to grow beyond them.