Empathy is imaginative.

I think of empathy like painting a portrait in my mind’s eye, using only the words I’m listening to.

The emotions I hear are the colours that inform this or that part. The background, the foreground. If I’ve been listening, this painting creates the empathy between us.

I can tell when I’ve done it right, because the connection relieves distress.

If your imagination has the wrong info, you’ll kill connection.

Getting the colours (emotions) wrong can easily hurt the connection.

Imagine handing someone a portrait you did of them and they look at you in horror. That would be a good outcome. Often times, people in crisis don’t have the voice to correct you.

That’s why I’m obsessed with spreading this skill set, so you can be better informed to see and hold space for trauma.

Allow what they say to inform your imagination, not what you think.

You’ve heard this before and you’ll hear it again: it all comes down to listening.

When you can let go, you’ll offer better support. Fears, agendas, opinions, values, judgements, assumptions, thoughts, it’s all noise distracting you from what matters. The better you can listen to them, the more accurately you’ll paint your understanding.

When they see your painting in emotions they understand, they’ll feel seen and heard.