Said With Courage

Tag: Crisis Support

  • Here’s Why Your Compliments Get Ignored – Or Worse

    Here’s Why Your Compliments Get Ignored – Or Worse

    What does every message have in common? Messages come in three parts: what you think you send, what you actually send & what they receive. Let’s ignore the first two as we have only 220 words left. In my early days of anonymous crisis support I’d try show people what strength they had. I’d do…

  • How To Avoid The Dreaded F Word In Suicide Support

    How To Avoid The Dreaded F Word In Suicide Support

    ⚠ How does that make you FEEL? ⚠ The most common phrase used when taking the mickey out of therapists everywhere. It’s spicy territory! When I first started in anonymous support work, older men would hang up on me all the time. We’d be talking about things that happened, grief, loss, health issues, and get…

  • A Sneaky Way To Compliment Someone Suicidal

    A Sneaky Way To Compliment Someone Suicidal

    Have you ever given a compliment to someone only to have them deflect it – or worse? When I first started in suicide prevention I learned about ‘reaffirming strengths’ and quickly got stars in my eyes. ? ‘You mean… making people feel good is a SKILL SET?!’ I was off like a firecracker. Ready to…

  • 2 Obvious Burnout Signs I Completely Missed

    2 Obvious Burnout Signs I Completely Missed

    I didn’t realise I was burnt out until it was too late. Everything was going fine… until it wasn’t. My whole life had blown up at once, it wasn’t just that I stopped showing up for shift… I’d also started self destructing again. Old habits, long put to rest had resurfaced and I was on…

  • Boost Suicide Prevention Skills With 3 Sentence Stem Tips

    Boost Suicide Prevention Skills With 3 Sentence Stem Tips

    1. Write down reflections to slow thinking and speed up results. My crisis support skills always developed at the speed of my self awareness. Put another way, my growth was as slow as my ability to reflect and learn about myself. If you don’t write reflectively it might be for the following reasons: Can’t be…

  • A Formula To Help People Feel Seen And Heard

    A Formula To Help People Feel Seen And Heard

    Your presence is the most important gift you can give someone in crisis. In suicide support I used to struggle not to give my opinions, values, judgements or beliefs. Thousands of crisis calls have shown me when I’m truly present with someone I can tune out all the ‘noise’ and listen to what matters to…

  • In Crisis Support How Do You Validate Without Colluding?

    In Crisis Support How Do You Validate Without Colluding?

    When starting out in crisis support, it’s difficult not to relate. I would hear something heart breaking and want to say ‘Hey, me too!’ but was told this isn’t appropriate… After years of service and many hundreds of conversations, I can confirm; it is inappropriate! But for so many of us (myself included) it can…

  • Release Unrealistic Expectations For Better Crisis Support

    Release Unrealistic Expectations For Better Crisis Support

    When I first started volunteering in suicide support I struggled to stop offering advice. I’d get feedback from my coach regularly; We let them come to their own answers and solutions We’re not here to solve peoples problems In non-judgement, we hold space for people without expecting a ‘resolution’ My own expectations were constantly setting…

  • Provide Suicide Support Without The Collusion Guilt-Trap

    Provide Suicide Support Without The Collusion Guilt-Trap

    Social dynamics of power. To understand collusion, think of what happens when someone has what another wants. A home, food, sex or even validation and support. If you have what someone wants, you have more power than them. No need to judge or fight this, it’s a basic truth. Suicide supporters have a unique power…

  • How ‘Noise’ Distracts You From Really Hearing Young People

    How ‘Noise’ Distracts You From Really Hearing Young People

    I’m about to tell you how you’re the roadblock, but why should you listen to me? Listening to young people can be tough, I would know because I gave countless adults that exact grief as they tried and failed to ‘listen’. I was forced by my school to see counsellors and had a reputation for…